once upon a time I was a happy kid…
एक वो भी दिवाली थी, एक ये भी दिवाली है,
उजड़ा हुआ गुलशन है, रोता हुआ माली है,
बाहर तो उजाला है, मगर दिल में अँधेरा,
समझो ना इसे रात, ये है ग़म का सवेरा,
क्या दीप जलायें हम, तक़दीर ही काली है,
उजड़ा हुआ गुलशन है, रोता हुआ माली है||
The story is not of very long time ago, just a couple of days or a couple of months or maybe a couple of years when I used to be a happy kid. I had no worries of my own(I had never seen anything as problem), no objective or aim(that was my favorite part), no friends to take extra care and above all no dreams to follow, just a happy tension free life to live with.
हम भी कभी आबाद थे, ऐसे कहाँ बरबाद थे,
बेफ़िक्र थे, आज़ाद थे, मसरूर थे, दिलशाद थे;
I still remember the days when I used to spend the whole day doing nothing and at the end of the day there was not even a single wrinkle on forehead about the wastage of time. I know it was total stupidity but that was the thing I was enjoying. How I was living, what I was doing, whether my deeds were going to affect anybody, I didn’t have to take care of these nasty things.
Those days my friends cared for me, (they still do but, you know, things change). Fault is also on my behalf, the time I used to spend with them(the most important thing for any relation to go on smoothly) has been long gone. We used to visit one another and all of us were happy. The story was same until I was in 3rd year. Then I was told about MBA(Nobody was culprit but me because it was solely my decision to step forward) and with this MBA thing I ruined my self like anything.
वो चाल ऐसी चल गया,हम बुझ गये, दिल जल गया,
निकले जला के अपना घर, मैं और मेरी आवारगी||
Everything shattered though not in a moment, it took days, weeks or may be months to become things so ugly. First I got short in time being busy with my career(just another excuse). After some time I lost interest in nearly everything and here I am reckless, ruined and left with nothing.
जब हमदम-ओ-हमराज़ था, तब और ही अंदाज़ था,
अब सोज़ है, तब साज़ था, अब शर्म है, तब नाज़ था,
अब मुझ से हो तो हो भी क्या, है साथ वो तो वो भी क्या,
एक बेहुनर, एक बेसबर, मैं और मेरी आवारगी |||
It will be a lie to say that I have not gotten anything in this duration. I got new friends and a new life which is better than previous one in certain aspects but the problematic thing is I miss my past sometimes. Also I got some achievements not very big ones but for which at least I can proud of(though I can’t do anything without help of my friends, so credit is all their.)
Now I have coped up with myself because reversion is not quite possible and also it not not so bad as it seems. Also, I’m getting my smile back, though it’ll take time to attain the same height of senselessness. I want to convey my thanks to all those friends who had helped me during my tough time and were with me despite of my shortcomings.
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